whatever works

 I used to piss off my mom to no end, as a teenager, when asked a question , I would shrug my shoulders high, roll my eyes and reply...." Whatever!" 

I recall being wholly committed to the Whatever philosophy as an adolescent. I truly did not care.  It was whatever, I'll go to church. Whatever, going to the Mall.  It was Whatever that I wanted for my birthday.  Whatever was also what I usually had done in school that day.   Whatever replied to the waitress. Whatever was told to my father countless times, when told about Colleges, stocks and other adult topics.


Whatever also extended well in play with friends and teammates.  Whatever was what I wanted to do most weekends, eat at their house, and to watch on TV.



Along the way the Whatever Philosophy fell out of my bag of tricks and was replaced with more engaging and thoughtful replies.Whatever did not seem to serve the purpose driven life, or nail a job interview. Adultism spread like a virus through my brain and canceled the Whatevers that I had swimming in my head.


Today, I would like to try a shoulder shrugging Whatever response to my world.  I think this could be the missing link between me and my highest purpose.  If I can employ a fraction of the Whatevers that I had in high school, I might be able to get out of my own way today.  I could find myself in a hot air balloon trip around the world, a newly scratched off Million dollar lottery ticket, with the band members of KISS, a movie ready wardrobe and my one true love. 

Employing the Whatever philosophy to one's life, although technically rude and obnoxious as a response; one is opening to possibility.  Letting Universe decide. Taking this armchair approach and relaxed devil may care attitude frees up alot of junk and lets things fall into place.

I will get back with you and let you know how this enhances or screws up my day.  Or not...

!WHATEVER! :/

ASKING MYSELF NEW QUESTIONS

I find people fascinating.  I really enjoy conversing, watching and being with other human beings and animals.  I get lost, or more accurately, get tuned in when connecting in this way.  We are all consciousness realizing itself.  I have been working with the idea of being an observer in my life and stepping back or out of a situation and seeing from another perspective. 

Imagine an event, a party.  You have thoughtfully gotten dressed and ready; you also have an idea of what may be coming to pass.  You go to pick up your friends and another version of the storyline begins once you are in their space and energy.  When facing others, I can retreat into place in my mind that is comfortable, when I may not be.  This move in the game of life, if it were a fencing match, would be named “on guard”  This move done so subtly and quietly, out of habit and learned experience, that even the most seasoned soul searcher can easily flip on this switch. 

I have versions of my parents and others that live in a story in my head.  They are stories I tell myself and have told myself since I was a little person.  These stories are not the truth.  The stories are collaborations from years of learning and experiences I have had over time.  When something happens, good or bad, our brain puts it in a categorical file for later use. I have held on to these stories as though they are true and real and helpful, when in fact, they are not. The stories and thought patterns are keeping me firmly anchored in a safe untrue place that is cold and old and musty with age.  This place is not the present fully realized.  It is a restraint holding my foot in a place that helps me to feel comfort, but also causing me distress.  It is distressing because I cannot flow and realize activation and change while in this place. 

While prying open this vault of deep habit I had an image form in my head.  The image is a canoe.  I am in it.  I am looking out over the bow, holding a paddle.  I am driving this boat.  I am paddling.  I see the banks on this waterway and notice the sunlight through the trees.  The water is flowing and I am paddling here and there to keep the boat straight. I see persons, places and things on the both sides of the bank as I pass them.  Then I see another stream branching off to the right.  It looks lighter and brighter and I am drawn there.  To turn the boat I must plunge the paddle deep into the water and hold fast, acting as a brake.  I imagine this action and can feel the force the water would provide in resistance.  It goes smoothly, but also what a force this paddle meets while in the water.  The boat begins to turn to the right and enters the new waterway and I begin flowing in a different stream. 

While inside this image I can feel the Energy it takes to turn a canoe and liken it to changing the flow of ones life.  That is a lot of Energy.  I can really imagine the force of the water against the canoe and holding on tight to the paddle. To stop, slow down, speed up or change direction takes effort.  But it is so worth it.

Change is constant and where we are always.  I don’t know what circles you run in and what they say, but in mine they say this often.  It is one thing to say it and know it cerebrally and another to experience it. This imagination has helped me to see and feel what is occurring when going from place to place and space to space.

BOTTOM Line: Love.  Love yourself, Honor your truth. Ask yourself new questions.  Purge the processes that don’t serve your highest good.  Show up in truth. Show up period.  Just Journey, and savor the energy of your flow.

the train rumbles softly

TRAIN RUMBLES SOFTLY.

PRAYER BEADS FROM INDIA.

THE TREE ROOTS WITHIN.

So how about it.  How about this spacesuit that holds our consciousness.  How about this magical existence we ride along.  What a cosmic game. 


Its actually more of a cosmic joke.  hahaha. I'm not laughing, I'm crying for you and for me. How can this be? How can this be the ticket to ride? to wrestle with whatever is going on inside. to have it all laid out in front pretty in a row.  its alll so messy with so much in tow, cant turn this way or that, not without causing a stir.

when our hearts collide

The words, they are nothing without the power of your heart;

the Time will come for You to do your part.

As sure as the sky above and the oceans so wide, 

I will see You when our hearts collide.

The moment will be in a curious flash. 

The elements of air, water, fire and humanity shall combine,

and the result will be a piece of our heart's mind.

- Global Youth Peace Summit 2010 Amala Foundation

 I have no exacting words for  camp that will encompass and encapsulate the experience.

 While you are there trekking about, running into the love and tripping over the open hearts, you are in another world.

A world fueled by love, respect, honesty and community. It is a feeling; a state of being.

Language does not reach it.

 Language was not bearing or a barrier.

 When coming towards someone who did not speak my English words, their heart and eyes held a conversation with mine.

Opening up to possibilities and new pathways.  
Conversations and community created with one passionate purpose. 

Truly One Village

My duties were to hold space, offer support, assist with kitchen set up and clean up for three meals a day for maybe two hundred campers and volunteers. 

I also elected myself the peace keeper of the ranch house: bringing goodies of crystals, sage, candles, rain sticks, drums and my guitar,large plastic flowers, flying monkeys, space aged flashlights, red feather boas, blinking lighted caterpillars and a radio to keep up the spirits of the volunteers :) 
I brought way too much and loved it!

WE stayed up late, others stayed up later.  
WE cried and others cried more.  
WE laughed until our bellies were sore and others laughed even harder.  
WE laid on the road to see the meteor shower in the dark country sky.  
WE gathered in silence around a flag pole for Peace.  
WE hugged and played soccer.  
WE swam in The Blue Hole and Blanco River.  
WE sang songs and banged on drums.  
WE made art pieces and wrote PEACE statements.  WE circled up and shared. 
WE became ONE village and.....

WE EMERGED PEACE LEADERS.

The cat is named HERCULES...

So the cat.  The cat is named Hercules. Without fail, the lovely fur ball will begin the morning ritual.  He wanders across my chest paying no mind to my supine resting and sleeping body.  He then sits near my face in an effort to be close enough to begin the process of pawing at my nose.

Sometimes he will even take steps to put his "finger" into my nose and play a masochistic game of "Pat My Master's Nostril".  Most times his claw will come out and he will lightly sting my inner nostril with the claw...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  Although not painful this is not Comfortable AND I don't do this to him!!!

He sleeps 16 hours straight every day and I don't come up on him and play "Toothpick to the Kitty Nostril Game", but lately I have begun to think this is a bright idea...

So it's 6 AM and HERE'S Herky, going to town, making bisquits on my chest and working on my left nostril. Then he starts the staring contest.  I come out of REM and feel the shifting in my sleep pattern.  What the hell!!  I become more awake and squinting ever so slightly to try and stay asleep, I see a cat point blank staring at me.  If this cat had a gun I would be afraid!!! Then he turns on the purring motor to try and trick me into thinking it is love that he is after.  He revs the motor a bit and seeing no results in that, comes closer, pacing around on my head and around and around and around my crown.  I try the Ostrich Technique of putting my head in the sand, in this case under a blanket or pillow OR BOTH, but the paw will sneak in the pacing continues. 

Most times I am able to go back to sleep and he will stop for a while until closer to 7 or 8 AM, but once a while I will hiss at him kick his ASS out and close the door. Half asleep I forget to push the door completely closed and in my stupor wonder how he magically got the door open!?! 

One time I got so pissed I stormed out of bed and grabbed some kibble and tossed towards the cat bowl.  It was a spray of dried bits that landed in an arc on the floor.  I mean I probably just fed them around midnight, which was ONLY 6 hours ago... They don't know about 4 to six small meals a day.  Who told them!! Who let the cat out of the bag ?! 

The saga continues... I need to pet him to fall asleep and he thinks he need to pet awake me for breakfast.

 :)

paper vs cat

I would like to write to you
but my cat likes to sit on my notepad.

If I'm reading a magazine
 he will come and sit right on it.

I don't know if it is because
he knows that's where my
attention is
or he has a
penchant for the slippery surface.

Thing is he likes
 to lay on many different types of paper surfaces.


From maps to books to computer paper, bound wire journals even bookmarks and bills.
If it is near me and face down then it is "the spot"!