Thursday, July 14, 2011

my dearest dearest Dana...


Dear Dana:
I witnessed your service of memorial yesterday. It was a beautiful gathering of kin and kinfolk. I loved being able to see your hands once again. You used them so expressively when you talked and laughed and told stories and hugged me. Your hands, they also touched your mat, which you loved so dearly. I love how you loved yoga and running into you there was usually the best part of my day. I hope you knew that. I hope that I energized you too. I hope my hugs reached you too. I know they did, but I have a sense of wonder... " Did you know how you were part of me and my experience"

Your sudden passing has wretched me and etched in my mind. The course of my reality changed forever. Your portrait in my landscape, and your angel on my shoulder. The deep learning I am gaining from this experience with you in my life and now gone has been like a masters course in the College of Life.  I cannot THANK YOU enough. 

I wanted to speak at your service, and many did: sharing stories, talking to your Family and expressing the essence of you in their life.  I did not get up to speak and later throughout my day I realized I wanted to speak to you.  I kept picturing you at a service for me and how you would be courageous and bold and talk about stories we shared.  I miss that we did not make more time together to make more memories. I cherish the hike you and Danielle and I took at St Edwards park, the times we spent at Kona Grill, talking about boys and wishing for men :) I remember when you made a red velvet cake for a client three times, because you didn't like the results. This was one of your Facebook postings and then I replied with a link to the Armadillo cakes with blood red filling and also a link to making Zombie skulls. It was so funny that we went from your cake making to Zombies. You sent me many encouraging quotes on Facebook and videos of Cats doing funny things.

I wanted you to meet my cats and see my house. We ran out of time, I invite you still.  You are welcome to visit me any time or place. Your spirit is my soul sister. I am aligned with you and speak this now.  

I was reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and spoke some of the poems in your honor. I trust that you were wise and moved through whatever you needed to at the instant of your passing. 

Dana "Wise Woman" Wiseman, you were a warrior princess. When last we spoke I heard of your recent medical discovery, I recoiled, I drew inward. I do not know why I didn't reach out to you and offer the support that I wanted to. I thought I would have time to help you when you got more information. I also entertained a vision that your were free of pain and need not worry, that you would prevail as you always have. I don't know why I dropped that ball and this haunts me at moments.

One of the last messages between us and friends on Facebook you said...."
I have come to realize with everything I have been through in this lifetime is there is nothing I can not handle or get through.. Especially with good friends...."

I have learned that I need to express myself to my friends always and be present, show up and let them know always.  I offer this to you now. Late in the thread but still woven in the tapestry of the universe. Thank you Thank you Thank you for receiving me and allowing me in your life story. I will look for your spirit in the waft of the wind and in the sun rays peeking around corners and filtering through the clouds.  

We love you. S Veronica