Saturday, September 11, 2010


I find people fascinating.  I really enjoy conversing, watching and being with other human beings and animals.  I get lost, or more accurately, get tuned in when connecting in this way.  We are all consciousness realizing itself.  I have been working with the idea of being an observer in my life and stepping back or out of a situation and seeing from another perspective. 

Imagine an event, a party.  You have thoughtfully gotten dressed and ready; you also have an idea of what may be coming to pass.  You go to pick up your friends and another version of the storyline begins once you are in their space and energy.  When facing others, I can retreat into place in my mind that is comfortable, when I may not be.  This move in the game of life, if it were a fencing match, would be named “on guard”  This move done so subtly and quietly, out of habit and learned experience, that even the most seasoned soul searcher can easily flip on this switch. 

I have versions of my parents and others that live in a story in my head.  They are stories I tell myself and have told myself since I was a little person.  These stories are not the truth.  The stories are collaborations from years of learning and experiences I have had over time.  When something happens, good or bad, our brain puts it in a categorical file for later use. I have held on to these stories as though they are true and real and helpful, when in fact, they are not. The stories and thought patterns are keeping me firmly anchored in a safe untrue place that is cold and old and musty with age.  This place is not the present fully realized.  It is a restraint holding my foot in a place that helps me to feel comfort, but also causing me distress.  It is distressing because I cannot flow and realize activation and change while in this place. 

While prying open this vault of deep habit I had an image form in my head.  The image is a canoe.  I am in it.  I am looking out over the bow, holding a paddle.  I am driving this boat.  I am paddling.  I see the banks on this waterway and notice the sunlight through the trees.  The water is flowing and I am paddling here and there to keep the boat straight. I see persons, places and things on the both sides of the bank as I pass them.  Then I see another stream branching off to the right.  It looks lighter and brighter and I am drawn there.  To turn the boat I must plunge the paddle deep into the water and hold fast, acting as a brake.  I imagine this action and can feel the force the water would provide in resistance.  It goes smoothly, but also what a force this paddle meets while in the water.  The boat begins to turn to the right and enters the new waterway and I begin flowing in a different stream. 

While inside this image I can feel the Energy it takes to turn a canoe and liken it to changing the flow of ones life.  That is a lot of Energy.  I can really imagine the force of the water against the canoe and holding on tight to the paddle. To stop, slow down, speed up or change direction takes effort.  But it is so worth it.

Change is constant and where we are always.  I don’t know what circles you run in and what they say, but in mine they say this often.  It is one thing to say it and know it cerebrally and another to experience it. This imagination has helped me to see and feel what is occurring when going from place to place and space to space.

BOTTOM Line: Love.  Love yourself, Honor your truth. Ask yourself new questions.  Purge the processes that don’t serve your highest good.  Show up in truth. Show up period.  Just Journey, and savor the energy of your flow.

1 comment:

Russell Balch said...

even though i am in a career field that requires outward person to person influentia the i got something to sell... i suppose we all do at some point one way or another. i have also come to the realization i am an introvert by nature. i tend toward the hermetical with the ever so slight misanthropic attachment. i love humanity but an constantly disgusted with our species. the times that i travel off the reservation and across a continent or two are magical transformations and i can almost observe myself, as russell, as an american, as a container of thoughts and ideals, values and mores that may differ in many ways from my guest country. i once visited Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum with my Vietnamese tour guide and as we were walking he took my hand and held it firm as a busload of western tourists were unloading in front of us. many of them looked at me and my young, gracious host as we walked hand in hand. my instinct was to release his grip but i held true to this wonderful and new closeness and embraced his kind gesture; boundaries being very different there. men often hug and sit in one another's lap. this is one of my fondest memories and i cherish this closeness with another human who serendipitously demonstrated a beautiful ray of humanity. dear, V, go travel! pack a bag and go off the grid - teach english to Burmese refugees in Thailand OR meet me in Nepal for that cup tea! travel = MAGIC! love, russ