my dearest dearest Dana...

LINK YOGA YOGA MEMORIAL QUOTES


LINK TO YOGA YOGA Article
Dear Dana:
I witnessed your service of memorial yesterday. It was a beautiful gathering of kin and kinfolk. I loved being able to see your hands once again. You used them so expressively when you talked and laughed and told stories and hugged me. Your hands, they also touched your mat, which you loved so dearly. I love how you loved yoga and running into you there was usually the best part of my day. I hope you knew that. I hope that I energized you too. I hope my hugs reached you too. I know they did, but I have a sense of wonder... " Did you know how you were part of me and my experience"

Your sudden passing has wretched me and etched in my mind. The course of my reality changed forever. Your portrait in my landscape, and your angel on my shoulder. The deep learning I am gaining from this experience with you in my life and now gone has been like a masters course in the College of Life.  I cannot THANK YOU enough. 


I wanted to speak at your service, and many did: sharing stories, talking to your Family and expressing the essence of you in their life.  I did not get up to speak and later throughout my day I realized I wanted to speak to you.  I kept picturing you at a service for me and how you would be courageous and bold and talk about stories we shared.  I miss that we did not make more time together to make more memories. I cherish the hike you and Danielle and I took at St Edwards park, the times we spent at Kona Grill, talking about boys and wishing for men :) I remember when you made a red velvet cake for a client three times, because you didn't like the results. This was one of your Facebook postings and then I replied with a link to the Armadillo cakes with blood red filling and also a link to making Zombie skulls. It was so funny that we went from your cake making to Zombies. You sent me many encouraging quotes on Facebook and videos of Cats doing funny things.


I wanted you to meet my cats and see my house. We ran out of time, I invite you still.  You are welcome to visit me any time or place. Your spirit is my soul sister. I am aligned with you and speak this now.  

I was reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and spoke some of the poems in your honor. I trust that you were wise and moved through whatever you needed to at the instant of your passing. 


Dana "Wise Woman" Wiseman, you were a warrior princess. When last we spoke I heard of your recent medical discovery, I recoiled, I drew inward. I do not know why I didn't reach out to you and offer the support that I wanted to. I thought I would have time to help you when you got more information. I also entertained a vision that your were free of pain and need not worry, that you would prevail as you always have. I don't know why I dropped that ball and this haunts me at moments.

One of the last messages between us and friends on Facebook you said...."
I have come to realize with everything I have been through in this lifetime is there is nothing I can not handle or get through.. Especially with good friends...."
 
I have learned that I need to express myself to my friends always and be present, show up and let them know always.  I offer this to you now. Late in the thread but still woven in the tapestry of the universe. Thank you Thank you Thank you for receiving me and allowing me in your life story. I will look for your spirit in the waft of the wind and in the sun rays peeking around corners and filtering through the clouds.  

We love you. S Veronica

Buddha in the Backseat

Trying to sort out this present moment, I am on my way to work again.  Motivating myself  to get in the car and drive in morning traffic can take a long conversation.

I try to keep peace and I make a deal with myself to remain calm and centered for the entire commute to work (which is not a very far drive).  At the first light I feel the impatience growing as I sit behind a lady who won't turn right on red.  I recall my intention and get back into my happy/angst-free state quickly.  Then, we finally turn right and I am halted at the next red light.  As commuting trips go, I have a pretty simple and easy one but I am usually overrun and there are a lot of opportunities for red lights and cars coming every which way on the well traveled road with a lot of businesses and driveways within the 8 mile 15 minute time period.  One instance I was being very aggressively tailgated and threw my hands up in disgust after I was very rudely passed and then incited a case of road rage in the driver of the truck who decided to stop dead at the next light..  As I go around the truck stopped at a green light, I speed up and enter the next lane the truck gathers speed and impeding my lane and pushing me towards the curb.  My life was being challenged and anger (not mine) was being forced down my throat.  I was in the bike lane and had another maneuver been necessary I would not have noticed or been able to perform it.  Finally the truck relented and turned left, unsatisfied that I did not return the anger.  I was shaken but surprisingly more aware of the realization that other people are in a pained state and sometimes are trying to bring me into that.

The Buddha statue was sitting among several objects placed on a sheet outside of the studio after a class on Saturday morning.  I looked over the items; books and tins and records.  I saw the Buddha and wanted him right away.  I had only $5 in my purse and sheepishly asked the price. The owner was haggling and negotiating with another customer and asked for $20, but they offered him a check.  I piped in that I had $5 in cash and it was mine.  I immediately loved the statue made out of resin or polymer.  It was about 9 or 10 inches tall and not made of expensive material or excessive artistry.  It represented a quest or desire for quiet inner peace.

I contemplated where to store his naked/unpacked body for the trip home in the car.  The armrest in the backseat was down, revealing a small cubby between the seats and I placed him securely there.  I drove home and checked on his travels by looking in the rear view mirror and marveled that the calmness remained and how cute and perfect he fit and existed in the cubby hole.

Upon arriving home I began unpacking my car of various items to take up to the apartment and reached for the Buddha statue.  I hesitated and thoughtfully wondered where he could reside in the house. After a moment, I did not see a clear location I realized he was already seated in a prime spot.

Now I see him from time to time when observing the traffic behind me and when I turn to get something from the back.  I have Buddha in the backseat to watch over my driving and bring a peaceful mind to my drive.

I renewed my vow to have a zen-ful minded inbound commute and remain as peaceful as possible.  I set off on the same old boring drive to work and at a stop light, I did my usual mirror checks and glanced in the rear view mirror.  Somehow the dawn morning light was bending and refracting so that an image of the Buddha statue was appearing somewhat hovering transparently on top of the backseat.  I knew it was a play of reflection with the mirror and lights, but this struck me as so odd and awesome that I laughed out loud alone in the car.  Hearing my own laughter out loud only caused me to laugh again and soon I had forgotten traffic and my struggle to find peace with the drive.  I was simply alive and free and in joy.