Convergence

To Retreat is to Converge- reconnect with Sun Star Moon Earth Water Wind Fire Rain.

To feel equal measure, of pleasure and pain.

To sit, stay, play and grow.

To sing, dance, remember and know.

To see a sunset and a moon rise on the shortest day.

To voice praises of humanity and be human in this way.

This the divine gift, wrapped in this Present.

This the divine gift, birthed in this moment.

and the next.

and so on..

until Breath ends...

I am in my Car; camping, sleepy.

I am hard to rope.

I look up and see fog and haze.

I look up and see clear sky and stars for days.

I look up and moon full with a cloud angel parade.

Wistfully they race by at a mindful pace; flying dancing and blessing this new space.

luminaries

It's weird how sad luminaries make me.
So much pain. My heart. She hurts. She cries out, why. Why so much to bear. So bare. So raw. So much feeling.
Like a chest of drawers is on my chest, I heave breaths in and out. My rib cage feeling like a cage of the heaviest metal.
Tears falling and making gullies in the pillow. The cat to afraid to come up.

The fan drones on endlessly turning, spinning. Not unlike the figure below that I call me.

In honor of my Grandfather, T. Ben Howard's Birthday Anniversary (he would have been 98); I am re-posting this, my favorite poem. 

One summer evening, after my grandfather had passed, I was sitting outside on a very high deck in a magical place with a very dear friend and was talking about him. 

      After awhile we sat in silence and I felt his presence visit me and wrote this

... 

CARETAKER TAKE CARE

through the 
darkness 
you merge into my field

 and 

sit atop my monkey mind...

peace
 flowing like a broken honeycomb.


sweet night air 
gaining thickness and depth.


quickly, 
you whisper a comforting quilt of words; 
in the language that goes without saying.

treetops 
swaying with the angel's song; 
we sit for a momentous moment.

frozen
 in the blaze of truth.


the exchange complete. 


there is a soft exiting,
barefoot
 on fallen leaves.

tears fall to wash
a heart
broken
open wide
and 
shining as though it were dawn.

hammock moon

Hammock moon beckoning, drawing me near.

Searching for a seat on the peek-a-boo moon,

wandering in an aimless nameless valley.

 I know the prize is just beyond the next ridge,

I know this in the deep place. 

Sit with the power, not fully arrived.

Re-treat, Re-immersion, Re-al

 I have had my dream--like others-- 

and it has come to nothing, so that 

I remain now carelessly 

with feet planted on the ground 

and look up at the sky-- 

feeling my clothes about me, 

the weight of my body in my shoes, 

the rim of my hat, air passing in and out 

at my nose

--and decide to dream no more. 

~William Carlos Williams


I will still envision possibilities, yet be alive in the real moment of what truly is my life. You are what you do, what you choose in each moment. It does not define you, but it does create the life you will experience.

swimmer

 Things are coming together, meanwhile things are falling apart. 

Waves break at the shore, and the sand takes it all in time. 

 The crash of water pounding on rock, 

breaking it into tiny crystals, 

is music to my ears. 

River water rushes over rocks; 

smoothing edges into soft curves.

Are your pockets full of stones? 

Cannot pass thru the gate withholding. 

Doors aren't only a metaphor, they swing both ways.

Open your third ear and listen to the water of your heart.

HAFIZ ....If I could show you your own heart....

Poem by Hafiz.....

If I could show you

Your own heart

You would fall

In love with you.

You would see what I see:

The Universe flaming into being

And newborn light

Leaping from star to star.

You would see

The birth of suns

Comets spinning into space

And planets coming to life,

Life upon life.

You would see

Celestial bodies in love

Drowning in each other

And their children

Populating the skies.

If I could show you

Your own heart

You could see mine

Deep inside, smiling.